P.A.C.: Political Action Committee or Puns And Comedy

          Well nation, I have some dire news to share with you. If you haven't already heard, the great Stephen Colbert has called off his exploratory committee and will not be running for president in 2012. This news came as a shock to a lot of people earlier this week. Even more shocking is the fact that his good friend Jon Stewart, refuses to relinquish control of the Colbert Super P.A.C. back to Stephen. This of course has Stephen outraged. How dare Jon hold his money hostage!

          For those of you not in the "know", this has been a running theme on the Colbert Report, which is Stephen's television show. He has been poking fun at a controversial ruling by the Supreme Court called "Citizen's United", which essentially states that corporations are people and are protected by the First Amendment, and therefore can supply unlimited amount of money to campaigns, with little to no regulation or accountability. Hearing this, Colbert decided to capitalize on the idea and form his own PAC (Political Action Committee). At first he was not allowed to because of his affiliation with Viacom and by proxy, FOX and NewsCorp. But, when there's a will, there's a way! Colbert was able to submit for a Super PAC to congress, which after scrutinizing review, they had to allow it to him. He can now collect UNLIMITED amounts of money from anyone or anything, and use it to make advertisements that can be in support or against any candidate, as long as the candidates are not coordinating with the PAC. He named it the "Colbert Super PAC"

          Anyone was allowed to donate to the PAC, and many did. Those that did, have their name displayed on a running scroll at the bottom of the television screen during the Colbert Report. You also could donate by buying a promotional t-shirt on the Colbert Super PAC website. The shirt states the disgust turtles have over peanut butter, which references a joke on his show. The PAC was making good money, and then began making commercials about the candidates. The PAC had so loyalty to any one candidate at the time, so the commercials would bash any candidate or political issue available. They were funny, and he began getting attention for it. What he was doing was allowing most people to understand how this fairly new political system works. He was  doing it in a comical way, but he was also using the same techniques that the politicians are using right now.

          Then about a month ago, Public Policy Polling released a poll that was taken on their website, saying that Colbert would beat out Jon Huntsman in the South Carolina Primary. With news that enticing, Colbert just couldn't pass this up. He announced on his show that he was going to set up an exploratory committee to run for President of the United States of South Carolina, playing off of the significance of the primary in that state.  However there were two obstacles he had to tackle. One was the fact that he cannot be a candidate and run a Super PAC. Second, was the fact that the deadline to put your name on the ballot had passed. How does he get around this?

          Well folks, Colbert is a smart man. First, he transferred ownership of the PAC to his friend and host of the Daily Show, Jon Stewart. Now that Jon is in control, he can collect money and use the money to make ads in support of Colbert, and against the other candidates. Now on to his other issue, the ballot. The ballot for the South Carolina primary was already locked, meaning that he could not get on it. It also meant that people who are already on it couldn't get off of it, including people who have dropped out of the race like Michelle Bachmann or Herman Cain. So his plan, as he announced on his show, was to state that if you vote for Herman Cain, it will be counted as vote for Colbert. This was followed by advertising blitz airing commercials about how a vote for Herman Cain is a vote for Colbert. If there were enough votes for Cain, that would be enough evidence for his exploratory committee to put Colbert's foot in the race.

          As quickly as the primary comes, it finishes, and the votes get counted over the weekend. It is revealed on that Monday Newt Gingrich is the winner. Herman Cain only gets one percent of the vote. With news that grim, Colbert reluctantly calls off the exploratory committee and announces that he will no longer be seeking his run for the presidency. On top of all this, he goes to his friend and ask for control of the Super PAC, and Jon turns him down. He is too busy living the good life with all the PAC money, and is in no rush to be giving it up. Now what is Colbert to do? He can't seem to catch a break. Also, what am I going to do with the all the promotional t-shirts, promotional buttons, and promotional bumpers stickers I bought supporting his run?